Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
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I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
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Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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