I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
