I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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