My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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