i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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