i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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