Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My feet surprised me
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
