I have demons in me.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she smelled like a LAN party
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize