Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
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