Plan B is the new Plan A
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
