so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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