why im i the only drunk person in the library?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
