Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
