Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
