My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
high people should be assigned attendants
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
