counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg šš
Heās older
Like āhas a job and pays his billsā older or āstill watches porn on DVD because he canāt figure out the Internetā older?
Randomize