I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize