so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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