So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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