yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
