Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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