how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
