one might say we're banned from that church
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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