dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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