Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
