Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize