thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
