hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
3 2 1 whiskey
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
