I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
