if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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