so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
