You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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