I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
