the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
