its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
