you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
