**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
