Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We are all done wearing pants today
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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