My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Randomize
