Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
