Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
