I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
