i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Houston, we have a blender
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
