I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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