she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize