That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
