my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize