u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
