I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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