My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
