you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize