Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
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you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
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I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize