I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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