How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
