we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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