WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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