I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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