david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
