it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize