Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
