Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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