what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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