I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
