Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
